How do I write a thank you note?

With a thank you note we can thank the people who have supported and accompanied us in the mourning process. Thank you notes are not only an expression of our gratitude, but also a significant step in the grieving process. They help us share the pain and maintain a connection with those who understand and share our grief.

The Essential Elements of a Thank You Note

Each thank you note is unique as it reflects the personal feelings and experiences of the writer. However, there are several central elements that should be included in a thank you note:

1: Personal Address

A direct and personal address helps establish a connection. This can be the name of the person or a general address to a group of people who have helped.

2: Expression of Gratitude

This is the core of the thank you note. Here you express your gratitude for the help and support you received during the mourning period.

3: Specific Mention of Help or Support

If possible, mention specifically how the person or group helped you. This can be emotional support, practical help, or even financial assistance.

4: A Personal Touch or Memory

A personal touch can make your thank you note particularly warm and impressive. This can be a special memory or an anecdote that highlights the support or the relationship with the deceased.

5: Closing Salutation

End the thank you note with an appropriate closing salutation.

Writing Process

1: Draft and Revision

The first draft does not have to be perfect. Start by writing down your thoughts and feelings, then revise the text until you are happy with the message. It can be helpful to take a break and read the draft again later.

2: Check for Clarity and Empathy

Ensure that your text is clear and understandable. It is important that the readers feel addressed and can empathize with your gratitude.

3: Choose the Appropriate Tone

The tone of your thank you note should match the situation. Usually a respectful and serious tone is appropriate, but depending on your relationship with the recipients and the deceased, a loving or even humorous tone can also be appropriate.

Avoid Common Mistakes

It is important to avoid certain pitfalls during the writing process. Here are some common mistakes that you should avoid:

1: Impersonal Messages

Your thank you note should be as personal as possible. Avoid generic phrases and instead try to focus on the specific support and the special relationship with the person or group.

2: Forgetting to Thank Everyone

In grief and stress, you may forget someone. Make a list of all the people you want to thank before you start writing to make sure that nobody is forgotten.

3: Waiting Too Long

While there is no strict deadline for sending a thank you note, it should be timely. A few weeks after the funeral or memorial service is a reasonable time.

Distribution of Your Thank Yous

There are several ways to distribute your thank you notes. You can send traditional thank you cards, send emails, or create and share an online thank you. The form of distribution depends on your personal preference, the number of recipients, and also the degree of formality you desire.

Thank You Cards

They are a traditional and formal way to express thanks. They can be purchased or designed yourself and offer space for a personal handwritten message.


For a larger number of recipients or a less formal thank you, an email may be suitable. It also offers the opportunity to attach a photo or a digital card.

Online Thank You

With our configurator, you can design a stylish online thank you note yourself and distribute it through various channels. This option offers a lot of flexibility and allows your thank you to be seen and shared by a larger circle. You will also find many useful wording aids and text examples.

A Gesture of Appreciation

A thank you note is more than just a gesture of politeness. It helps us express our gratitude, strengthen our relationships, and take an important step in the grieving process. Remember, your thank you note is an expression of your personal feelings. There is no right or wrong. Just be honest, respectful, and grateful.