The blank page in front of you, your heart heavy - finding the right words for an obituary is one of the most difficult tasks in a time of mourning. It is more than just a text; it is a final gift, an honoring remembrance of a cherished person. This guide is designed not only to give you a clear structure, but also to provide comfort and reassurance during this emotional process.
More than just words: the emotional process of writing
Do you feel overwhelmed? That's completely normal. Writing an obituary means consciously dealing with the loss and the memories. Allow yourself to see this process as part of your own grieving process. It's not about literary perfection, but about authenticity and honest appreciation. Every word that comes from the heart is a true word.
What is an obituary and what is its purpose?
An obituary is a personal tribute to the life, personality and achievements of a deceased person. Unlike a mere death notice, it focuses on the person and their work. Its purpose is multifaceted:
- Honoring remembrance: it pays respect and recognition to the deceased.
- Providing comfort: It shows the bereaved, colleagues and friends the esteem in which the deceased was held.
- Preserve memory: It helps to keep the memory of the person and their positive qualities alive.
Obituary, obituary notice, eulogy - what's the difference?
These terms are often confused, but fulfill different purposes:
- Obituary: Honors the life and work. Often written and published by companies, associations or friends.
- Obituary: Serves as an official announcement of the death and provides information about the funeral service. Usually placed by the family.
- Eulogy: Is an oral presentation during the funeral service that honors the life of the deceased.
Preparation: The basis for a personal obituary
Good preparation gives you security. First gather some thoughts and facts. If possible, talk to other colleagues or association members to get a comprehensive picture.
- Important life data: Full name, date of birth and date of death.
- Affiliation: How long was the person with the company/association? What positions did they hold?
- Special achievements: Important projects, achievements, voluntary work.
- Characteristic traits: What made the person special? (e.g. their humor, their helpfulness, their calm nature)
- Personal anecdotes: A short, positive story can make the text very lively.
First things first: Always consult with the next of kin before publishing an obituary. Obtain their consent and check all facts (especially names and dates) carefully. Respecting the family's wishes is a top priority.
Structure of an obituary: A clear structure provides support
A clear structure helps you to organize your thoughts and not forget anything important.
1. heading
Choose a clear and respectful headline.
- "Obituary for [first name surname]"
- "In grateful memory of [first name surname]"
- "We mourn the loss of our colleague [first name surname]"
2. introduction
Give the full name and express the grief from the author's point of view. Make the direct reference.
- "It is with deep sadness that we bid farewell to our colleague of many years..."
- "We mourn the loss of our founding member and friend..."
3rd main section - the centerpiece
This is where you pay tribute to the deceased. Describe not only his or her professional or voluntary achievements, but above all his or her personality. What made him or her stand out as a person? What gap does the person leave behind? A small, appropriate anecdote can be very touching here.
4. conclusion
End the obituary with words of thanks, remembrance and sympathy for the relatives.
- "We will always honor his memory."
- "Our deepest sympathy goes to his family and all those who were close to him."
- Clearly name the authors: "The management and staff of Mustermann GmbH", "The board and members of the Musterstadt e.V. sports club"
Avoid the most common mistakes: A practical dos and don'ts list
This overview will help you avoid typical pitfalls and write a dignified obituary.
| Do | Don't |
|---|---|
| Coordinate with the family: Always get the approval of the closest relatives. | Publish without consultation: This can deeply hurt the family. |
| Emphasize positive qualities: Focus on what made the person stand out. | Mention negative aspects or criticism: An obituary is no place for criticism or unresolved conflicts. |
| Double check facts: Names, dates and positions must be absolutely accurate. | Tell unconfirmed anecdotes: Only use stories that are respectful and true. |
| Be authentic and honest: Write from the heart. Honest words are more moving than empty phrases. | Exaggerations and empty phrases: Avoid standard phrases that don't fit the person. |
Templates and wording for a personal obituary
Use the following examples as inspiration. Fill them with your own personal memories to create a unique and dignified obituary.
Template for an obituary of a colleague
Obituary
It is with deep sadness that we bid farewell to our long-time employee and valued colleague
Mr. Max Mustermann
* 15.03.1965 † 10.05.2025
Mr. Mustermann was a mainstay in our development department for over 20 years. We will always remember his unwavering calm in hectic projects, his helpfulness that went far beyond the professional, and his friendly smile on Monday mornings. He was not only an excellent professional, but also a mentor and friend.
We have lost a wonderful person in him and will always honor his memory.
Our deepest sympathy goes out to his family.
The management and staff of Beispiel GmbH
Further formulations for colleagues:
- "With his positive charisma and fine sense of humor, he enriched our team every day."
- "We greatly appreciated his ability to keep a cool head even in difficult situations."
- "His contribution to the development of our department will remain unforgotten."
Template for an obituary of a club member
Obituary
The Turnverein Musterstadt e.V. mourns the loss of its honorary member
Erika Musterfrau
* 20.07.1950 † 08.05.2025
Erika was the soul of our club for over 40 years. As a children's gymnastics instructor, she shaped generations of members. We will miss her warm manner, with which she immediately welcomed every new member, her optimism, which was infectious even after a defeat, and her energetic commitment at the annual summer party.
In Erika, we have lost not only a committed member, but also a true friend. We will cherish her memory.
Our deepest sympathy goes out to her family.
On behalf of all members and the board of the Turnverein Musterstadt e.V.
Further formulations for club members:
- "His tireless commitment to our youth work was exemplary and will continue to have an impact for a long time to come."
- "We thank him for decades of loyalty and his invaluable commitment to our community."
- "With his passion for our sport, he infected and motivated many of us."
Checklist before publication
Go through these points before finalizing the text. A four-eyes principle is always a good idea here.
- ✅ Names correct? Are all names (of the deceased, the authors) spelled correctly?
- ✅ Dates correct? Are the date of birth, date of death and duration of affiliation correct?
- ✅ Consent of the next of kin? Has the family given their consent?
- ✅ Is the tone appropriate? Is the text respectful, dignified and authentic?
- ✅ Proofread? Is the text free of spelling and grammatical errors?
- ✅ Is the timing right? Ideally, the obituary should be published at the same time as or shortly after the family obituary.
Conclusion: Creating an honorable memory
Writing an obituary is a responsible and emotional task. See it as a final gesture of appreciation and respect. An honest, heartfelt text is an invaluable comfort for the bereaved and a lasting testimony of solidarity. We hope this guide will give you the support you need to find the right words for a dignified farewell.